Parshat Lech L'cha

In this week’s parshah there’s a good Biblical example of the modern adage, “good fences make good neighbors.”

When he came to the land of Israel, in addition to his wife and their company, Abram brought his nephew, Lot. As they settled in the land, the Torah tells us, Abram and Lot both prospered: “Abram was very rich in cattle, silver and gold” (Gen. 13:2); “Lot… also had flocks and herds and tents…” (v. 5). As is sometimes the case, having wealth makes it hard for them to get along: “… their possessions were so great that they could not remain together” (v. 6).

The traditional commentators tend to look at this in light of Lot’s presence in the evil city of Sodom a couple of chapters down the line; Rashi says that what was happening was that Lot’s men were grazing their animals on other people’s fields, and Abram’s men were trying to stop them.

Now here’s where Abram’s moral character comes into play. He intervenes before the situation gets out of hand, and even though he is the senior partner, his solution is both humble and magnanimous:

’Let there be no strife between you and me, between my herdsmen and yours, for we are kinsmen. Is not the whole land before you? Let us separate: if you go north I will go south; and if you go south, I will go north.’

In other words, Abram gives Lot first dibs, even though it is Abram, and not Lot, who has been led to this land – promised this land - in the first place. But not to worry, because Lot’s requirements are decidedly less lofty than Abram’s:

Lot looked around him and say how well watered was the whole plain of the Jordan, all of it… So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan, and Lot journeyed eastward. Thus they parted from each other; Abram remained in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled…near Sodom. (vv. 10-12)

Lot has the choice of where to go, and chooses - for material reasons – to go east. We know he wasn’t concerned with spiritual matters because the very next verse tells us that Lot is moving into a bad neighborhood: “Now the inhabitants of Sodom were very wicked sinners against God” (v. 13).

So Lot causes the problem, and Abram addresses it early and with care. He gives Lot the choice of where to go, and Lot’s choice is to leave Abram where he was. Abram’s Does the Right Thing throughout, and – in spite of this? because of it? – he ends up in Canaan, exactly where he was supposed to be, where his destiny and that of the people who came after him were to be.

There are times when circumstances determine that people need to separate. This could be due to all kinds of factors, and the reasons almost don’t matter: Abram certainly doesn’t seem to think any less of Lot, doesn’t treat him like someone who did something wrong, although he probably could have. The best we can do when we find ourselves in such situations is to try to be like our father Abraham: handle the situation as gently as we can, in the hopes that the relationships will be sustained, and in the faith that it will all end up as it is supposed to.

Shabbat shalom.